who got the keys to my jeep

cars hit me with a double whammy today, yall...

first i learned about mayor bloomberg's plan to close traffic on broadway between 42nd and 47th to make way for a pedestrian mall. i really have mixed emotions about this.

on the one hand, this will create more room for the people in my way every morning, lunch, and evening as i navigate my work day. they'll spread out, stop crowding the sidewalks and give me some breathing room. my run-ins should decrease, right? the frequency with which i appear in tourists' photos should decrease, right? i'll stop saying 'are you kidding me?' and 'wtf' and 'motherf***er' all the time, right? (OR will there just be even more of them filling the newly found car-free space?)

on the other hand, it is already difficult to secure a cab when leaving work for the airport or a show...so what happens when the traffic decreases? the benches and outdoor seating sound nice, but i really don't need to eat my lunch while visitors mill about...especially when bryant park is just an avenue and couple of blocks away.

so, there's that.

and then there's this...my dad has been loaning me a spare car the past few months. i can't tell you how much i love this car. my friends love this car. people i don't even know see me in this car and think, i love this car. i live in brooklyn where parking is easy so i never worry about finding a spot. sure i've had a couple of parking tickets, but clearly the benefits far outweigh the consequences.

so imagine my shock and horror when dad says "we've got to talk about the car." he needs it back. i feel sick just typing about this. i was so looking forward to driving the ol' marquis to the beach this summer, girls in tow, windows down, wind blowing my hair. i don't even know what to say...still processing this one.


in memoriam

i long for the city that always sleeps...

...cause these days i never want to get out of bed...



it's been a rough few weeks. kind of feel like i'm headed in the wrong direction in more than one aspect of my life right now. usually it's only one facet out of sync at a time...but times like these, when it feels as though i'm out of gear at every level, something big has to happen to resolve it all. what will that big thing be? waiting for the other shoe to drop stinks, yall.

i know that this tangle started because i started to live my life making up for lost time. i've been a bit out of pocket the last few months (year even? yeah, basically all of 2008), acting a little too big for my britches...and i don't regret it. i think i deserved it. but now it's time to hunker down and find a balance. i know that i don't want my youth to go to waste - i want to do all the stuff i can get away with while i'm still wrinkle-free & sunny side up but i don't ever want to regret not doing what i should have been doing now, later. cause really that's what got me into this mess.

so yeah, there's that.

a few ruminations

i visit home a lot, too much so for each trip to offer any grand insight on what i'm missing in my life, where i'm headed (or should be headed) or any other ah-ha type of discovery. but this thanksgiving a few things presented themselves in such a sequence that i can honestly say had i not come home for these 4 days, i might not have realized i need to do something.

i've prescribed to the 'live fast, die young, no regrets' mentality of living for the past few years and i think it's time i find a little balance with something from the 'do something with your life' school of thought. don't get me wrong, i am by no means a slacker, i could just be doing a lot more if i didn't choose to hang out 24/7. so...there's that. a month or so early a resolution of sorts...

that being said, i cannot wait to get back to new york. damn!